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User blog:Anomalous13/Global Conflicts (Ordinary Life)
Well, my new fanfic name is Global Conflicts. Although this fanfic is about war, there are going to be many parts of comedy and humor. This blog post covers the "Ordinary Life" section of the fanfic. The year that this takes place has nothing to do with the storyline; just a random year I wanted to pick. Any chapters that don't have any notes next to them are either finished or haven't been started yet. Ordinary Life *'Prologue' #'Tranquility' #'An Ordinary Day' #'Battle of Ocean Road' #'Ceramic Troubles' #'Bloontonium Forest' #'Tudis Base '(revision in progress) # # # Prologue *'Unknown Location' *'October 3, 2017' There are three monkeys being held captive in a M.O.A.B. A Dart Monkey, a Ninja Monkey, and a Boomerang Thrower. What happened to these three Monkeys? ---- DM - "Well guys, now what?" NM '''- "What are we supposed to do? We're restrained in a M.O.A.B, we have no idea where it's going, and we can't even move around." '''BT - "Uhmm...so what's the plan?" DM '''- "I don't know. I thought you guys had one...you're the experts here!" '''NM - "Shut up! This is all because of the Insurgents!" BT ''' - "It's a shame that the Insurgents joined the Bloons to form a Covetist Alliance. Who knew Monkeys and Bloons would work together?" '''DM - "It's disgusting. This war used to be between three groups: The Monkey Capitol, the Insurgency, and the Bloon Empire. Now it's between two: The Monkey Capitol and the Covetist Alliance." NM - "Hahah, you sound so cheesy man, stop it." DM - "Your face is cheesy; shut up!" NM - "I swear when we get out of this I'm going to slap you silly." DM - "Not if I knock you out first." NM - "You want to start something?!" DM - "I could beat you up if I wanted to!" NM - "WHAT?! What makes you think that..." BT - "Shut up you morons! Shh...do you guys hear that?" DM - "Hear what? What is it?" NM '''- "Stop talking! Can't you see that-" '''DM - "Shut up! How are we supposed to hear anything when you keep talking?!" NM - "You're the one who keeps talking! Be quiet!" DM - "You started this you idiot! Don't blame me for --" NM - "Stop being so hypocritical! Sometimes I swear you are-" BT - "SHUT UP! There's that noise again. Just listen. It sounds like..." Chapter 1: Tranquility *'Monkey Lane' *'11:01 PM' *'July 8, 2017' There are three monkeys in a hut. A Dart Monkey, a Ninja Monkey, and a Boomerang Thrower. The Dart Monkey's name is "Christopher" or "Chris", the Ninja Monkey's name is "Gary", while the Boomerang Thrower's name is "Ryan". The three monkeys are discussing about something very important. Chris - "So guys, did you know the chicken came before the egg?" Ryan - "...how?" Gary - "The egg had to come first though. Where did you get that info Chris?" Chris - "Well, the chicken has various proteins and other nutrients needed for the egg to actually hatch, or something like that." Ryan - "Your claim doesn't sound so believeable..." Gary - "Yeah...since when were you an expert in birds Chris?" Chris - "Well, I do have a good degree in knowledge with Kiwis." Ryan - "The fruit?" Gary - "I think it's a type of toilet." Chris - "You morons! A Kiwi is a type of flightless bird!" Ryan - "It's also a fruit! A delicious fruit!" Gary - "It's not a type of toilet? WHAT?" Chris - "Wait a minute guys, why are we talking about birds, fruits, and toilets? Don't we have something more important to discuss? *coughBloonscough*" Ryan - "Oh yeah. That mission to Ocean Road in 40 minutes. Gary, are those BANANAS?!?" Chris - "WHERE?" Gary - "Oh poop." Chapter 2: An Ordinary Day *'Monkey Lane' *'11:41 PM' *'July 8, 2017' The trio continue to eat bananas, with only 20 minutes before their mission. Do Monkeys ever eat anything else? Gary - "Bananas are the gift of Sun Gods! They're so delicious that it makes any other food taste not so good!" Ryan - "I agree. Well said." Chris - "Hey guys, why are we eating, when we're supposed to head to Ocean Road in 20 minutes?" Ryan - "Oh Chris, stop lying! You forgot to move your clock back an hour! Lol remember, it's daylight savings time! Right Gary?" Gary - "Of course." Chris - "You idiots, did you forget? We already moved our clocks backword!" Ryan - "... Oh yeah. Oh crap!" Gary '''- "Leave it to the newbie to fix our mistakes..." '''Chris - "Shut up. If it wasn't for me we would get in trouble!" Ryan - "Good point. But why are we heading to Ocean Road?" Chris - "Intelligence states that the Bloon Empire is assaulting one of our weapons cache there. I suggest that we move now...wait a minute. We have a mission and you guys didn't even know what it was about until now? How am I the newbie here? Seriously?" Ryan & Gary - "Uhh...." Gary - "Anyways, how are we getting there?" Ryan - "Are you stupid? We have our biplane!" Gary - "A biplane? A plane that's bisexual? What?" Chris - "My goodness...an airplane Gary! An airplane! You really are stupid!" Gary - "OHH. Pshh I knew that, who would be dumb enough to think that airplanes have sexual orientations? Well, let's get going." Chris & Ryan - "Moron..." The trio gets into the airplane and sets a course for Ocean Road. Chapter 3: Battle of Ocean Road *'Ocean Road' *'1:15 AM' *'July 9, 2017' The three stooges arrive at Ocean Road. Unfortunately, they arrived in the middle of an intense battle between Monkeys and Bloons. By the looks of it, the Bloon Empire has the upperhand in the battle. The Battle The weapons cache was currently under attack by Bloons. Apparently, the weapons this cache held were very valuable to the Bloon Empire. It wasn't sure what their exact motives were, but they're willing to get through every Monkey that stands in their way. The willpower of the Bloon Empire was very strong; they didn't care how many Monkeys were killed. But that's because Bloons can't feel emotion...anyways... This "Battle of Ocean Road" went on for at least 2 hours before the trio arrived. At first, the Monkeys had the upperhand, since only Zebras were attacking. Victory seemed so close. Later on, that advantage was quickly lost; the cache was under attack by 4 BFBs! The Monkey Capital had no weapons for efficiently combating the newly developed airships. The best they had were Mortar Towers, which isn't saying much. Popping noises, explosions, and yelling went on in this war for hours. Countless Bloons and Monkeys fighting each other, with no seemingly end. Countless lives being lost in this battle, and for what? Greediness. Greediness causes many wars, ending many lives that don't deserve it. The Bloon Empire will pay for this... Because of the airships, the Bloons gained the upperhand and many Monkeys were falling to the Bloon menace. The ability of airships to deliver many troops to the battlefield was remarkable! Dozens and dozens of Ceramics swarming the Monkeys. There just wasn't enough defense to handle the threat! The cache was already lost and the Monkeys were falling back. By the time the trio arrived, the Bloons were collecting the last of the weapons and killing and Monkeys they found. The Three Stooges Ryan - "Wow, I think we're late to the party. The whole cache is destroyed, and this battlefield isn't a pretty sight. There are crashed planes everywhere!" Gary - "WATCH OUT, A BFB!" The trio passes by a B.F.B. Luckily, the BFB is busy launching MOABs into the battlefield. '' '''Chris' - "Holy crap, Ryan, be careful when steering!" Ryan - "I know what I'm doing! You guys aren't helping at all! Shut up!" Chris - "Meh. Oh my God..." Chris and Gary look below onto the battlefield. There are Bloon remains and...many dead Monkeys all over the place. The sight was very disturbing. War was going on all over the place. Explosions, yelling, and horrorl it wasn't known to the Monkey Capital why Bloons are so eager for war. Gary - "Those poor guys...STUPID BLOONS!" Chris - "I forgot how brutal war gets...I hope those Monkeys rest in peace." Ryan - "..." A few moments pass. Gary - "So are we giving aerial support or going on the ground?" Ryan - "Screw going on the ground! We're much safer up here. MOAB Class Bloons luckily have no weapons, but they have a hell of a boarding crew. Don't get close to them!" Chris - "The commander of the Monkey Capital is supposed to tell us more details, he's apparently busy at the moment. But Ryan is right, we're better off up in the skies. Just avoid the MOAB Class Bloons." Gary - "Okay then. Just be glad that there are no ZOMGs here." Ryan - "I've never seen one get taken down before. Bloon Empire airships are tough to take down...plus ZOMGs always stay up ridiculously high in the skies..." Chris - "Since when were you a poet Ryan?" Ryan - "Rhyming once doesn't make me a poet you idiot..." Gary - "He didn't mean literally..HOLY CRAP!" The plane experiences turbulence due to explosions and wind. The turbulence almost caused the plane to dive down into the ground. The nearby BFB sends a MOAB after the plane. Ryan - "Guys, that MOAB is catching up to us fast..." Chris - "You saying that we should ditch the plane?" Ryan - "I'm not ditching this plane! Hmm...you guys see that mountain?" Gary - "Yes? What of it? Are you sightseeing right now?" Ryan '''- "No. I meant, when we pass that mountain, the MOAB won't see us for a few seconds." '''Chris - "Are you suggesting we ditch? If we ditch the plane, the MOAB is going to send troops and we will get overwhelmed! Bad idea!" Ryan - "That's correct. By "we" I mean you guys.'' You two'' are ditching the plane." Gary '''- "What about you?" '''Ryan - "I would rather have one of us get screwed than three. All of us can't abandon the plane. Like Chris said, if that MOAB sees the plane crashed, it will send troops all over the place, troops that we can't handle! When we pass that mountain, you two will jump out, and I'll lead the MOAB off into the nearby ocean." Chris '''- "But..." '''Ryan - "Don't worry guys, I'll be fine! I actually have it planned out already. Here's the rendezvous point:" *'Banana Beach' *'July 11, 2017' *'5:00 PM' Ryan - "Banana Beach isn't that far from here. It's 5 miles west. It's where I'm going to lead the MOAB actually. Don't be late! Okay, you guys ready to jump? Head for Tudis base! It's 6 miles northeast!" Gary - "Uhh..." Ryan - "GO!" Chris and Gary jump out of the plane, and land into a forest. They look up and see the biplane (or bisexual plane) fly off into the distance with the MOAB giving heavy chase. Chris - "I have to say, that guy has guts. I wouldn't do that to be honest.." Gary - "Me either. Let's just hope that he makes it out of this alive." Chris - "So what are we going to do now? We have no transportation..." Gary - "We can't really contribute that much to this battle. Want to get out of here, even if it is cowardly?" Chris - "It isn't cowardly! Live to fight another day!" Chris '''- "...yeah, it is cowardly. Who cares? Let's get walking to Tudis Base!" '''Gary - "I don't wanna walk!" Chris - "Stop whining!" The two head for Tudis Base. Chapter 4: Ceramic Trouble *'Banana Beach' *'July 9, 2017' *'2:03 AM' Ryan is currently leading the MOAB to Banana Beach. A few minutes later, the plane approaches the sea. Ryan deliberately crashes the plane into the sea, jumping out mere seconds before the impact. He stays underwater for a few minutes while the MOAB approaches. The MOAB does a quick strafe around the beach, and decides to drop 8 Regrowth Ceramic Bloons to scout the area before leaving. Ryan lifts his head above the water. Ryan's thoughts - "It was enough that the stupid MOAB chased me all the way here, but dropping Ceramic Bloons as it left!? YOU TROLL! What am I going to do now...I can't take on those Bloons and swimming out into the sea is suicide..." The Ceramic Bloons split up into two groups of four. In the nearby hills, a Sniper Monkey is viewing everything. Sniper Monkey's thoughts - "What is going on over there? I'll check it out, this looks interesting." Back at Ryan... Ryan's thoughts - "Okay, I have two boomerangs...I don't think that will handle these Ceramics...I need to get to shore though." Ryan quickly swims back to shore. He hides behind a nearby rock and waits for the patrol to pass by. Ryan's thoughts - "Okay, I got this!" Ryan - "BLOONS! You're about to get popped!" Ryan throws his boomerangs at a Ceramic, which quickly riccochets to the other 3 Ceramics and then back to Ryan. The boomerangs...didn't do anything. The Ceramics look angry, despite the fact that they have no faces. Ryan - "Uhh...heheh, hey guys. How's the weather going? Fancy ain't it?" Ryan - "Oh yeah, I forgot, you things can't talk. How do you guys even communicate with each other?" The Ceramics start chasing Ryan. The other group of Ceramics shortly follow. Ryan - "Umm, did I say "things"? I meant to call you guys, "Handsome Floaty Gentlemen!" AAAAH GET AWAY FROM ME!!" All 8 Bloons start chasing Ryan in a game of chicken. He throws his boomerangs again, but nothing happens. Ryan dives into the nearby water. Ryan - "HAHAH, you things aren't dense enough to swim in water! Take that!" The Ceramics decide to sit on the shore and wait for Ryan to get out. Ryan - "Ohh...I'm guessing you guys are the patient type. Well I'm not climbing out of this water, so I guess I will pick you guys out with my boomerang!" The Regrowth Ceramic Bloons decide to back up further, out of Ryan's reach. Ryan - '"Why did I say that...how do they even understand me?" ''Suddenly, a Ceramic Bloon pops completely. The other Bloons are astonished, and another Bloon is popped. '''Ryan - "That's my telekinesis, fear my awesome power Bloons!" Ryan's thoughts - '"What in the world?! Who's doing that??" ''The remaining 6 Ceramic Bloons give chase after the unknown attacker. '''Ryan - "Aww...wait. But Ceramic Bloons can't go down in one pop! How..." In the distance, it's revealed that the Sniper Monkey is the unknown attacker. This Sniper Monkey in particular is a MOAB Crippler. Sniper Monkey - "That guy is so lucky I saved his ass...The Bloons are after me now! I can handle this..." The Ceramics quickly approach the Sniper Monkey, and attack. Surprisingly, the Sniper Monkey throws multiple Shurikens at the 6 Ceramics, stunning them for a short while. Then, he manages to pop 3 Ceramics with his sniper before the stun effect wears off. As the remaining 3 Bloons approach, he throws multiple shurikens, popping 2 Ceramics. The last one produces more Regrowth Ceramics. Nonetheless, the Sniper Monkey easily deals with the threat. Sniper - "Wow, that was...thrilling." Ryan quickly runs up to the Sniper Monkey. Ryan - "...HOW..DID YOU..YOU SAVED ME..HOW??" Sniper - "Save your breath. What are you doing getting chased by a MOAB?" Ryan - "It's a long story. The name's Ryan by the way." Sniper - "Is it really a long story, or are you just too lazy to tell it?" Ryan - "Uhh...you win." Ryan tells the sniper how he got chased by a MOAB. Sniper - '"The name's Andrew, or Andy for short. Whatever you prefer. Interesting story..." '''Ryan '- "Well anyways, what's your story? Why are you out in this place? '''Andy - "I was a part of this squadron heading to take part in this "Battle of Ocean Road" but a BFB managed to knock me out of the skies, and I crashed into the nearby sea. I knocked out for a couple of hours, and when I regained consciousness, I headed to this Ocean Road, then I heard a plane crash. I have no idea where the others in my squadron were, but I hope that they're okay." Ryan - "Ohh...I did see crashed planes all over Ocean Road. There's no point in going to Ocean Road now, the battle's already over." Andy - "That's depressing. Poor Monkeys...who won the battle?" Ryan - "The Bloon Empire." Andy - "..." A few moments pass. Ryan '''- So if you're a Sniper Monkey, what's up with the shurikens?" '''Andy - "I was assigned to be a Sniper because of my sharp eye and extraordinary skills. I prefer being a Ninja Monkey, but I decided to go both ways, I didn't mind." Ryan '''- "Like a bisexual." '''Andy - "Err what'd you say? I couldn't hear you." Ryan - "What? I didn't say anything. So I'm heading to Monkey Town, care to join? Our team needs a Monkey like you!" Andy - "Fine. Nothing else to do. I have no means of communication with anyone anyways." The two start heading to Monkey Town. Andy - "So who is this Chris and Gary, your partners?" Ryan - "Chris is the new guy in our group, very competent. He's mostly a serious guy but he has a sense of humor at times. But Gary, sigh...he's a Ninja Monkey but he kind of sucks." Andy - "Hahah, I see. So what forest are these two in now?" Ryan - "They're in Bloontonium Forest, heading for Tudis Base." Andy - "WHAT?! There's a war going on in that forest right now! Why did you drop them there you idiot?" Ryan - "I didn't know there was a war in the forest! Also, I didn't directly drop them there! We need to get to them!" Andy - "I'm not exactly sure if that's the..." Ryan - "Well I'm going, with or without you!" Andy - "sigh..I could use a little thrill." Chapter 5: Bloontonium Forest *'Bloontonium Forest' *'July 9, 2017' *'3:43 AM' 'Forest Chaos' Kaizar Forest, the previous name of the forest, was named after the famous Kaizar defeated a ZOMG singlehandedly in this location in the year 2013. In the year 2015, there was a environmental disaster here; a large amount of Bloontonium was spilled here. Bloontonium is very destructive, should it make contact with nature. The element's presence here changed the forest completely; it became completely unrecognizable. Because of this, Kaizar Forest was renamed Bloontonium Forest. Due to the abundance of Bloontonium here, it is common for Monkeys and Bloons to fight over the precious element. In fact, there is a battle going on right now. There are five BFBs surrounding the place. 'Chris and Gary' Gary - "'''Ryan didn't tell us about this!" '''Chris - "Well he isn't a psychic Gary, so shush." Gary - "Do you always have to berate me?" Chris - "Meh. So what's the plan? We just can't cut through this battle to get to Tudis Base..." Gary - "You don't say?" Chris - "Shut up." Chris & Gary '''- "So...what's the plan?" '''Chris & Gary - "I don't know!" Chris & Gary - "What do you mean you don't know?!" Chris & Gary - "Stop saying whateve--" Gary - "WHAT'S THE PLAN??" Chris - "Are you not smart enough to help me think of a plan??" Gary - "I'm just lazy man, take one for the team!." Chris '- "What team?! You're not doing anything to contribute!!" '''Gary '- "Yeah, I know." '''Chris - "GRRRR..." A few moments pass. Gary - "Why don't we just go around the forest?" Chris - "Ohh...never thought of that. About time you did something useful..." A B.F.B quickly passes overhead and notices the Monkeys. It drops a MOAB to crash into their location. Chris - "Uhh...what's that MOAB doing?" Chris - "...CRAP! GET OUT OF THE WAY GARY! THAT THING'S CRASHING INTO US!" Gary - "You don't...HOLY CRAP!!" The MOAB crashes into the ground, with Gary barely dodging the MOAB. '' '''Gary' - "Why did the MOAB just crash into the ground? It really has no use if it just does that..." Chris '''- "Sigh...Gary, are you dumb? By the looks of it, MOABs are easily replaceable, because BFBs and ZOMGs use them to crash into specified targets to send in Bloons. It's much easier to send in Bloons that way rather than dropping them directly into spots. Very smart if you ask me." '''Gary - "Uh huh. But there are no Bloons coming out of this one?" Chris - "I suggest we go around the forest before--DANG IT! LET'S GO!" 8 Ceramics emerge from the MOAB. The BFB sends another MOAB crashing into the area, sending out 6 more Ceramics. 14 Ceramics on their tail, can they deal with it? Chris - "We can't deal with these Ceramics! Let's t--" Gary '''- "You don't--" '''Chris - "GODDAMN GARY JUST SHUT UP AND KEEP RUNNING!" Gary - "I'm just trying to-- Chris '- "IT'S NOT THE TIME NOW! As I was saying, let's try to lose the Ceramics in the forest!" '''Gary '- "Look, over there! A tre...wtf is that?" Suddenly, 13 Ceramics popped. The last one tries to retreat, but something lands on it very fast, popping it instantly. The landing created dust everywhere. Once it cleared, it was revealed the savior was a Plasma Monkey! '''Plasma Monkey - "Thought you boys could use a little help." Gary - "IT'S A SUPER MONKEY! AAAA OH MY GOD YOU SAVED OUR LIVES AND DID YOU SEE THE WAY YOU POPPED THOSE BLOONS IT WAS LIKE PEW PEW PEW AND WHOOSH! TELL ME YOUR PRECIOUS SECRETS AND HOW YOU CAN--" Chris - "Shut up Gary!" PM - "Nah, it's fine. I like being praised every once in awhile, heheh." Chris - "Well, thanks a lot. What's--" PM - "Ahh crap, be right back. I think that other BFB is about to... The Plasma Monkey flies right back into the sky. He flies up to the BFB, which just sent out a MOAB. The Plasma Monkey shoots the MOAB down, sending it into its fiery demise. The BFB tries to ram into the Super Monkey but ironically, the Plasma Monkey flies straight through the BFB, causing it to fly uncontrollably and crash. The BFB is crashing towards Chris and Gary's position. Chris '- "Gary...uhhh..." ''The Plasma Monkey pushes the BFB out of the way, preventing an impact. He quickly goes back to the two. '''Gary - "YOU KICKED ASS! HOW YOU FLEW STRAIGHT INTO THE BFB AND PUSHING THE" PM '- "Please, go on." '''Gary '- "BFB OUT OF THE WAY SO IT DIDN'T CRASH INTO US! AND SHOOTING DOWN THAT MOAB AND..." '''Chris - "We don't have time for this! Look, if it isn't much trouble to you, could you drop us off at Tudis Base? We're kind of in a hurry." PM - "Well, sure. Let's go. I'm guessing you're the moody type? Heheh. Anyways, the name's Gage." Gage picks up the two and flies to Tudis Base. Chapter 6: Tudis Base (preview) *'Tudis Base' *'July 9, 2017' *'4:05 AM' Gage, Chris, and Gary are approaching Tudis Base. '' '''Gage' - "Oh my goodness, I'm exhausted. You two are fattys! I swore Bloontonium Forest was much closer to this location." Chris & Gary - "...shut up." Gage '- "By the way, I never got your names...you guys rushed me a bit when we left Bloontonium Forest." '''Chris '- "I'm really sorry, we just wanted to get out of that battle. I'm Chris. Nice to meet you. And that's Ga--" '''Gary - "What are you doing?! I'm introducing myself! I'm Gary...the best Ninja Monkey in the--" Chris - "Hahah, what?! More like the worst!" Gary - "Shut up Chris! Well Gage, I'm Gary. I am so glad that we met you." Gage - "Hahah, you two get along like a house on fire!" Chris '- "Heh, nice analogy. But Gary's the fire right?" '''Gary '- "WHAT?!" '''Gage - "I guess I'll let you two figure that out...hey, we've just arrived at Tudis Base...oh my..." Chris - "What the hell?!" The entire area is completely destroyed, deserted, and dark. There is also glue, MOAB remains, BFB remains, and rubble scattered all over the place. Oddly, there are only two bodies. Gage - "Wait a minute...What in the world happened here? Where are all the Monkeys, and what happened to the power?" Gary - "Wait a minute...down there! There's two people there!!" The three quickly approach the Monkeys. One is long gone. The other seems to be passing out pretty soon. Chris - "What happened here?!" Gage - "...He's bleeding. I don't think tha--" Monkey - "...please, don't!" Gage - "We don't mean harm! We need to know what happened here!" Gary - "Gage, I'm with you. We need to take a break. I could us-- Chris - "SHUT UP GARY! He's about to talk!" Monkey - "..." Category:Blog posts